Three Wishes Can Really Screw You Up
by spykitty
Summary: COMPLETE Some cursing, but not much. What happens when Naruto finds a genie bottle? Funny. Seriously. Random pairings. Slight SasuHina. Like I said. Random pairings. Stupid and out of boredom, but worth it!
1. I wish Sasuke was a Girl! Naru's gf

A/N: Hey, people! This is the second story I've ever finished (on paper) and it is another Naruto one… 15 NORMAL length chapters are to be expected… so this will be the size of a normal fanfic, instead of the short disaster "That Scary Naruto Thing" was… Anyway, here's chapter one… Oh, yeah… this IS a comedy… 100... well, there's ONE part that seems serious… Anyway, this is part one of a 2 part series… the second part is still being worked on off line and has yet to be finished, but there WILL be a second part… an it will be funnier… anyway, this comes first, so here it is!

**Chapter 1: 'I wish Sasuke was a girl!' (Naruto's Girlfriend)**

Team 7 had been waiting for Kakashi for about 2 hours (which is the average time, I guess). Naruto went for a walk; Sakura was leaning against the bridge and Sasuke against a tree.

"Hey, Sakura! Look at what I found!" Naruto yelled, running toward Sakura, who barely acknowledged the fact that he was talking to her.

He held up an old, fancy-looking bottle and rubbed some dirt off. A girl in Arabian-like clothing appeared in a puff of smoke.

"HOLY-----" Sakura began.

"CRAP! WHAT THE----" Sasuke continued.

"HELL IS THAT?" Sakura finished.

Naruto bluntly starred at his two teammates- mostly because they finished each other's sentences/ had the same thoughts going through their minds at the same time.

"Will you knock it off, boy? That's about the two _hundredth _time you've-" the girl began. "Oh… so there's more of you, eh? Well, I am Jennien, a genie. I shall grant you each three wishes."

"I wanna go first!" Naruto exclaimed. "I wish-"

"I wish Sasuke loved me!" Sakura shrieked over Naruto.

"W-what!" Sasuke yelled. "Can you grant wishes like that?"

"Yes," Jennien stated, rather bluntly. She nodded her head twice. Sasuke just about fell over as Sakura grinned evilly. "Love wishes take 5 minutes to work. That means you-" She pointed to Sasuke. "Have 5 minutes of free will left… But I have something else to add---- Love spells only work with people of the _opposite_ gender."

As time was going by, Sakura got happier and clinged to Sasuke's arm, Sasuke sighed and tried to think of something else for the last, like, minute and a half of free will he thought he'd ever have, and Naruto was freaking out at the fact that if he didn't do something now, he'd lose Sakura forever.

So, freaking out by the fact that time was running out, Naruto yelled, "I wish Sasuke was a girl!"

"WHAT?" Sasuke and Sakura yelled.

"As you wish," Jennien said, nodded her head twice.

There was a flash of light and Naruto's wish came true.

Sasuke looked very much like a 12 year old version of his mom, a.k.a. long, lighter blackish blue hair, same length bangs, black eyes, and his… well, now HER normal guy clothes.

Sasuke, however, still had the glare that could freeze hell over, only know there was a twist- It could freeze hell over, have it open as a year-round ice rink and be the hottest tourist spot on(or in) this universe--- and that glare was directed at Naruto

Sakura was freaking out- she was so close to having Sasuke love her… but now he's a she…

Naruto, on the other hand was freaking out because Sasuke was a MUCH prettier girl than Sakura… which made him sound gay…

"_Naruto…_I'm gonna KILL you!" Sasuke growled in a girl voice that made Sakura laugh, only because she knew it was Sasuke.

Kakashi appeared not too long later and saw Naruto getting chase/ hit by some girl he had never seen before. On impulse, he grabbed the girl and held her in a mirror act of Ed and Al (FMA).

Sasuke violently squirmed yelling "PUTMEDOWNPUTMEDOWNPUTMEDOWNPUTMEDOWNPUTMEDOWNPUTMEDOWNPUTMEDOWN-(you get it)" repeatedly.

"Sasuke, please calm down!" Sakura yelled.

"Sasuke? What'd I miss?" Kakashi asked, looking strangely at the girl.

"Maybe if you were on time, you'd know…" Naruto muttered, now hiding behind Sakura.

"DAMMIT! PUTMEDOWN! I HAVE TO **KILL** NARUTO!" Sasuke yelled, squirming harder, and now kicking to get put down.

"Heh, STILL think Sasuke's perfect?" Naruto asked Sakura.

"Oh, shut up, Naruto!" Sakura yelled. "Plus, it's YOU he wants! Kakashi, I say you let Sasuke down- he might rid us of an ANNOYING PEST---ring any bells, Naruto?" Sakura stated.

"This still isn't making any sense to me." Kakashi stated, now having trouble holding the mad/insane girl.

"DO WHAT SAKURA SAYS AND** PUTMEDOWN!**" Sasuke yelled.

"Well, Naruto found this genie bottle and wished that Sasuke was a girl," Sakura said.

"You're such a brownnoser, Sakura. Why don't you tell Kakashi about _your_ wish," Naruto said.

"_My_ wish? _I_ didn't make a wish," Sakura lied.

"You didn't make a wish my butt! You wished I loved you!" Sasuke yelled, less angry.

There was an awkward silence.

"I think that gives you the right to kill Sakura." Kakashi bluntly stated, placing Sasuke down.

Sakura and Naruto exchanged 'Don't let him kill me!' looks then looked at her. She was… laughing, her face downward.

"Um… Sasuke?" Sakura asked.

Sasuke then looked up at the two and they noticed he was laughing maniacally.

They then began to run for cover.

"Well… you three have fun. I'm gonna go… try and do something about this… Just be sure not to _kill_ them, okay, Sasuke?" Kakashi said, and then he disappeared.

Sasuke nodded, then gave Naruto and Sakura a devilish grin. "I won't _kill_ them… but I can't say they'll be able to _walk_ when I'm through," she then decided to chase after the two running idiots.

Eventually, they all stopped and were resting; Sasuke was sitting in a tree and Naruto and Sakura were sitting under a tree, about 3 yards away (which isn't really that far).

"Aw, c'mon you two… I'm not gonna hurt you," Sasuke teased, rubbing his arm (Sakura had hit her with a branch). "…_much_." Sasuke added.

"No way! You stay over there, we'll stay here!" Naruto yelled.

"Hey, Naruto… do you still have that genie?" Sakura asked.

"Yeah, what for?" Naruto said, handing her the bottle.

"Well…" Sakura rubbed it and Jennien emerged.

"What now?" Jennien asked.

"I wish all the trees would disappear." Sakura wished.

Jennien nodded her head twice, and all the trees (including the one Sasuke was in) disappeared, thus making Sasuke fall.

"Ow! WTF?" Sasuke yelled.

"Sakura did it!" Naruto yelled, pointing to Sakura. She laughed innocently, hoping that Sasuke WOULDN'T kill her. "She should have used her wish on something useful!"

"Like, I wish Naruto can't talk?" Sasuke asked, obviously meaning it as a wish.

Jennien nodded her head twice, and as Naruto went to say a come-back (he had a rather good one in mind) no noise cam out- at all.

"Wow, it's so quiet now!" Sakura teased.

Ino randomly appeared. "Hey… My training was cancelled today…" She looked around. "Where's Sasuke?" She notices the girl. "Who's that? Does Naruto have a girlfriend, or something?"

There was a VERY awkward silence…

"Ino, you pig! That girl IS Sasuke!" Sakura shrieked, playing along with the fact that Ino was going out get the crud beat out of her.

Sasuke, on the other hand, wasn't taking the "Naruto's girlfriend" joke very lightly.

"_Ino…_" Sasuke growled.

Ino, sensing that Sasuke was going to kill her, began to run for her life as Sasuke, obviously, chased after her.

Kiba and Hinata were next to arrive.

"Hey, guys," Kiba said.

"Um… hi…" Hinata muttered blushing.

Kiba then noticed Sasuke (obviously, he didn't know it was Sasuke) chasing Ino around. "Who's that girl? Does Naruto have a girl friend, or something?"

A look of horror crossed Hinata's face.

Sasuke stopped chasing Ino and turned toward Kiba, glaring.

"Wow… she's cute… how'd a guy like you get a girl like that?" Kiba asked, jokingly.

* * *

A/N: Well, that's chapter 1… and I hope you've liked it thus far… and I'll have 'Chapter 2: A girl's side of the tracks, part 1' up soon! 


	2. A girl's side of the tracks, part 1

A/N: Okay! I got… **_4_** review! That's great, and I'll respond to them now:

The Rebel Goddess: ah the random chases I love it haha, get the next one up soon

A/N: Well, I have my ultimate encouragement, which would be… Sonic video game music videos (mainly Shadow the Hedgehog music, but still, music)! I got about 20, so that'll keep me motivated to write quicker!

Satoshi Silver Syoran: Lol!

Skyiru: IT WAS REALLY FUNNY! Plz, next chapter soon! -

A/N: That's what I'm aiming for!

Arashisama: Minor technical errors, put it through grammar check one more time to fix them

all.

Hehe... a female Sasuke... if I didn't know he was going to kill me, I would say

that would be very cute. Especially since I have seniority over him. (I love

how they begin only 12 years old)

A/N: Well, I don't care much for grammar, so I don't tend to use it… but I'm REALLY happy people like my idea of a female Sasuke… He'd probably kill me for doing that to him, but its well worth it.

Mangahero: thats pretty good. keep it up.

A/N: Thanks! I like your name (sorry for off-subjectness (I know it's not a word, but still))

Also, I use the term "bluntly/blunt" a lot. The 3rd definition for it is 'Slow to understand or perceive; dull' so I'm going with that.

Anyway, chapter 2! Oh, and since Sasuke is now a girl, he'll be referred to a 'she' now.

* * *

**Chapter 2: A Girl's Side of the Tracks, Part 1**

Naruto automatically mouth "That's NOT my girlfriend! That's Sasuke!"

"Naruto! I can't hear you! Speak up!" Kiba yelled, obviously humoring Naruto's inability to talk.

Naruto mouthed it again, and Sakura caught view of it.

"He, uh… lost his voice, and um… He's saying… That's not my girlfriend… That's _Sasuke._" Sakura stated.

"Well… that's awkward…" Kiba muttered, now noticing Sasuke's death glare directed at him. "Hey, I'm sorry, dude! I didn't know it was you! No hard feelings, okay?"

Sasuke sighed and decided to spare Kiba- chasing Ino for that comment was good enough… for now.

"So… what happened to, uh… her?" Kiba asked, not very sure what to call Sasuke now.

"Long story short, Naruto wish Sasuke was a girl." Sakura bluntly stated.

Hinata felt better that it was all a misunderstanding.

"I wish Hinata could just admit that she loved Naruto and get it over with. Make her bolder so that even if he does reject her, she'll move on…" Sakura muttered, not noticing that Jennien was right next to her.

"As you wish," Jennien said, nodding her head twice. "And you are out of wishes."

"WAIT! That wasn't an official wish!" Sakura yelled.

Sasuke and Kiba, however, were too busy exchanging "WTF" glances.

Hinata was forcefully kissing Naruto… obviously, Jennien made Hinata a little TOO bold.

So, trying to ignore the disturbing event, the three turned around.

"Hey, where'd Ino go?" Sakura asked.

"I dunno…" Sasuke said.

"What're you going to do now, Sasuke?" Kiba asked.

"Well, I have some extra clothes you could borrow-" Sakura began.

"Hell. No." Sasuke quickly responded. "I'm perfectly fine in MY clothes."

"Yeah, but they're GUY clothes! You're a GIRL now…" Sakura stated.

"So?"

"_So?_ SO? You should wear the right gender clothes!" (So you all know, I don't agree with that, but I had to put it in.)

"I REALLY couldn't care less," Sasuke responded.

Sakura and Sasuke continued their fight for about 3 minutes, and then Kiba walked over and dragged Hinata away.

Naruto then walked over to the two fighting girls.

"I'm not gonna wear girl clothes, and that's final!" Sasuke yelled.

"Y'know what! This is getting us no where! You're coming to my house! NOW!" Sakura yelled, dragging Sasuke off.

"No! I'm not going anywhere until _Naruto _fixes this!" Sasuke yelled, pulling away from Sakura's grip and almost knocking her over.

Naruto then mouthed "ME! Why ME!"

Sasuke and Sakura, however, when about their argument, ignoring Naruto.

"Well, your going to have to walk through the village to get to your house," Sakura stated.

"Which is gonna suck…" Sasuke added silently.

"Well, it's not like anyone's gonna know it's you… I mean, they'll probably think you're the nine-tail fox boy's girlfriend!" Sakura laughed to herself.

"Naruto's the nine-tailed fox?" Sasuke asked, now bluntly staring at the crazed/insane blond boy trying to get their attention.

"That's a good one1" Sakura laughed more. She then stopped when she noticed Sasuke wasn't joking. "Oh, crap… Uh, no, he's not… um… it's, uh, just, um, a, uh, joke, um, me and, uh, N-naruto, um… yeah… have?" Sakura stated, very unbelievably.

"Works for me…" Sasuke stated, shrugging and beginning to walk off.

"Aw, c'mon Sasuke! Just one day! After that, I won't bug you about it anymore!" Sakura called after her.

Even though it was against Sasuke's better judgment, she agreed… atleast it will get Sakura off her case.

(Later on, at Sakura's house)

"Mom! I'm home!" Sakura yelled, taking off her shoes by the front door.

Sasuke, however, didn't enter the door way… she just stood there, bluntly staring.

"You can come in," Sakura said, pulling Sasuke through the doorway. Sakura's mom then came walking down the hall.

"Hello, Sakura. You're home early-" She then noticed Sasuke. "Who's this?"

"Oh! This is my new friends, uh, Janise!" Sakura quickly responded. "I just met her today! She's new to this village."

"Okay, then. I won't bother you two. It was nice meeting you, Janise." Sakura's mom said as she walked back down the hall.

Sakura turned her gaze to Sasuke who appeared to be slightly blushing and watching Sakura's mom walk away.

Sakura then almost literally dragged Sasuke up the stairs and into her room.

"What was that about!" Sakura angrily yelled as she sat on her bed.

"What was what about?" Sasuke said, sitting on the floor across from the bed.

"I saw that!" Sakura yelled.

"Saw what?" Sasuke asked.

"You were checking out my mom!" Sakura yelled.

Sasuke opened her mouth to respond, but nothing came out- Sakura was right.

"I-I was NOT! I can't believe you'd think that!" Sasuke yelled, blushing a dark shade of red as she turned away.

"Whether you were or not, I BETTER NOT see you do it again! She's my mom! She's already married! AND you're a girl now, so you can't check out other girls! That's just WRONG!" Sakura scolded.

… … … … There was an awkward silence… … … …

"Can I leave now?" Sasuke asked after about 10 minutes of silence.

"No. Not yet." Sakura responded. She was glaring at Sasuke still and hadn't blinked once during the 10 minutes.

"Why not. If you're gonna just glare at me-" Sasuke was standing up as she said that, but stopped almost automatically. When she looked over, Sasuke could tell that if she didn't sit down right away, Sakura was going to kill her.

So, Sasuke sat down again and tried to glare back, but she wasn't mad at the moment so it didn't work.

Eventually, Sakura was no longer mad, walked over to her closet, and opened it, revealing A LOT of outfits.

"Well, if you're gonna borrow an outfit, we'll have to check them all," Sakura said, already looking at the clothes.

"You're joking, right?" Sasuke asked.

"No. I'm dead serious." Sakura said, pulling an outfit off a hanger.

"Ah, man…" Sasuke moaned.

* * *

A/N: That's the chapter! Also, I'd like to say that the whole Sasuke checking out Sakura's mom was put in for the fun of it… and I can use it in the second part, too! Anyway, thanx for the reviews! 


	3. A girl's side of the tracks, part 2

A/n: Okay! Now, I'll start with reviews (like I always will)

.SasukeUchiha'sBeautiful.pink.sweet.CherryBlossoms. ( :love the story. hehe. sasuke's a girl!

MWAHAHAHA!

The Rebel Goddess: snort Bout time someone tortured him. Congrats!

A/N: Yeah, well, that's really the point thus far.

Leeza Brizuela: This fanfic is Hella funny so far. I really do feel bad for Sasuke. lol! I can't

wait until You finish this. You leep up the hillariuos/awsome work.D

A/N: Yeah, it kinda does make you feel a bit bad for him, but not so much later on!

Satoshi Silver Syoran: Jansie? sheesh. And hey, I'm a girl and I crossdress, and I draw Sasuke as a

girl in his original clothes . .. ,- NARUTO FACE!

A/N; Well that was the first name I could think of off the top of my head without using my own name or a bunch of random letters put together….

Okay…. Anyway, chapter 3! Oh, yeah… this one is kinda short compared to the others, but the next few are kinda long, so it made up for it.

* * *

**Chapter 3: A Girl's Side of the Tracks, part 2**

Naruto was first to arrive that morning, which was pretty odd, but he ignored that fact.

Sakura was the next to arrive, angry beyond belief and muttering something under her breath. Naruto occasionally caught some words, like "Sasuke", "Ass", "Bitch", and other wonderific (heh heh… my new word) things.

"Um, Sakura, what's wrong?" Naruto mouthed.

Sakura turned toward Naruto quickly, extremely mad. "What's wrong? WHAT'S WRONG! I'LL tell you what's wrong! Janise is what's wrong!" Sakura blurted out.

"Janise?" Naruto mouthed.

"Well, _Sasuke…Grr_…" Sakura growled.

Speak of the devil, Sasuke appeared walking toward the bridge wearing the outfit Sakura chose for her. It was a black tank top and a pair of short skorts along with her normal arm-things and shoes.

Naruto bluntly stared, not believing it was Sasuke at all. He WAS a pretty girl than Sakura!

"Naruto… What're you staring at?"

Naruto, quickly breaking out of the trance, noticed Sasuke was now standing right in front of him, staring back.

He quickly mouthed, "Nothing, nothing! Just kinda zoned out."

"Sasuke didn't really believe him, but she walked to the end of the bridge and leaned against it."

A few minutes later, Kakashi appeared.

"Hey-"

"Did you find out anything!" Sasuke interrupted.

"No… As far as anyone knows, you could be stuck a girl for a while." Kakashi stated.

Sasuke looked down in disappointment. She'd rather have girls stalk her then guys… well, being guys.

"Today, we're going to do sparring-"

"I wanna fight Sasuke!" Sakura interrupted.

"Fine with me…" Sasuke responded. "Just don't think I'll go easy on you because you're a girl."

"Like wise." Sakura replied.

"Any catch?" Sasuke asked.

"That's for the winner to decide." Sakura said.

"Fair enough." Sasuke said.

* * *

A/N: Like, I said, short chapter. 


	4. You're really enjoying yourself, huh?

A/N: No real updates, no reviews… Ah, well… Anyway, here's the chapter:

**Chapter 4: You're Enjoying Yourself, huh?**

Later that day, Lee, Neji, and TenTen had returned to the village after their mission ended. The three thought they wouldn't run into anyone because the sun was setting.

However, they weren't so lucky. They run into Sasuke (who was sitting on top of Sakura) and Sakura (whose face was on the ground).

"Get off me…" Sakura muttered, moving her head so she could breath.

"Admit you lost." Sasuke said.

"No!" Sakura yelled.

"I beat you about 36… wait… 37 times in a row _without even trying_… and we've been like this for about 2 hours. Just say you lost." Sasuke stated.

"GET OFF ME!" Sakura demanded.

"Not until you admit defeat," Sasuke said, partly laughing.

"You're enjoying yourself, huh?" Sakura asked, angrily.

"Hey, Sakura!"

Sasuke and Sakura looked over and noticed Lee, Neji, and TenTen staring weirdly at them.

"Oh, hi Lee." Sakura responded.

"I'm heading home," TenTen said, walking off. "You coming, Neji?"

"Uh, I think I'll stay here and make sure Lee doesn't get himself killed." Neji re**lied**. In reality, Hinata's new-found boldness was creepy.

"So, Sakura, who's that?" Lee asked, looking weirdly at Sasuke, obviously not recognizing her.

"This is Janise," Sakura stated. "A stubborn, pompous a- Ow!"

Sasuke jabbed Sakura in the side, then held up one finger with each of the following words: "Don't. Even. GO. There… Bitch."

**Sasuke POV**

At least they'll be going soon-

"Janise WHAT?" Neji asked.

Stupid Neji… He's the pompous a-

Y'know, what, I'm not going to go there.

"Janise Akamizu," I replied.

"I've never seen you here before-" Neji started.

I'm sure there's people you don't know, ass.

"Why is that?"

**…**

**….**

**…..**

**…...**

**…..**

**….**

He's got me there…

"I'm new here."

"Obviously. Where are you from?"

I don't have time to play 20 questions!

**…**

**….**

**…**

Wait, yes I do…

**…**

**….**

**…**

I just don't feel like it…

"Y'know how team 7 was having trouble with teamwork? Well, some idiot decided that we should exchange one of them with me… My team in the Village Among the Stones was having that issue as well."

Heh, how that for a come back?

"But why from the Stone village and not one from Konoha?" Neji asked.

Dammit…

I didn't think that far…

"I dunno… No body told me why."

"Works for me!" Lee said.

Okay, I can't believe I'm about to think this, but Lee might actually be smarter than Neji.

**…**

**…**

**…**

**……**

**……**

**……**

**…**

**…**

**…**

That was awkward…

I don't like Neji… he's creepy… And he thinks too much…

"Fine, we'll leave." Neji said, walking toward me. He then stopped…

See, he's creepy…

"Nice lie, Sasuke. Almost had me there." He whispered.

THAT FREAK! EVEN KAKASHI DIDN'T KNOW I WAS ME!

**…**

**….**

**…**

That didn't make since…

"Nice skirt, though!" Neji yelled.

"IT'S NOT A SKIRT! IT'S A **_SKORT_**! THERE'S A DIFFERENCE!"

I'm gonna kill that freak…

Sakura laughed…

She's laughing at me…

I'll kill her too.

Why's SHE laughing? I'm still sitting on her…

What's there to laugh about?

"You're ridiculous!" she yelled.

That's it. She's dead.

"What's so ridiculous!"

"You're freaking out about THAT! HA! That's hilarious!" she laughed more…

I'm gonna kill her, revive her, kill her again, bring her back, make clones, and kill her and all her clones… then bring her back so I don't get in trouble…

I get in trouble enough already without her help…

I have rope makes to prove it…

Okay, I get distracted too easily.

"Well, SOMEONE doesn't want to get up anytime soon."

"Fine, Sasuke. I'm really sorry! And you win! Please get off me!" Sakura pleaded.

That'll have to work… for now…

"Fine…"

So, I got off her… and she ran for dear life….

She didn't even thank me… witch…

I'll kill her…

And Neji, too…

**(Randomly, at his house…) Naruto POV**

Let's see… what can I use my wishes for**…………………………………………………...**

**……………………………………………………………………………………………...**

I could wish I was Hokage!

Or, even better!

I could wish I was stronger than all 4!

THEN I could be Hokage!

Or, I could wish I knew where the bottle wa-

Wait…

Backtrack…

I lost the bottle…

I lost the bottle…

I LOST the **BOTTLE**…

Sasuke's gonna kill me!

Like, six feet dug into the ground…

Coffin bought…

Nails placed…

Flower's picked…

Invites sent out and replies received….

GOOD BYE LIFE!

* * *

A/N: That's the chapter… the first time I wrote other POV's than a Normal POV, so don't nag me about it! And, I meant for Sasuke's mind to seem so empty... cause it probably is! . 


	5. A girl's side of the tracks, part 3

A/N: No reviews… Yet… and last chapter was so good, too…

Anyway, chapter 5! This chapter is slightly unusual, and all that stuff… you'll know what I mean when it gets there.

**Chapter 5: A girl's side of the tracks, part 3**

(At her house) Sasuke POV

Let's see… what I can do… hm…

1) Read…

Nah, do that a lot.

2) Sit around and do nothing of particular interest.

Maybe…

3) Change out of Sakura's clothes.

Yeah, right now! Okay… let's see… what can I do to get Sakura off my case… I know! I'll wear…

(Walks into parent's old room and takes one of his mom's shirts)

This… then Sakura CAN'T get mad at me…

(Goes into her room and takes a pair pants. Quickly changes pants. Goes to change shirt (as in takes it off (obviously to change (look! Another parenthesis in here! (One more! (I'm too easily distracted (Sorry, my good fans.)))))))(7).

Okay… Someone is staring at me…

I don't know why…

Or how they got in here without me knowing…

Could they have picked worse timing?

I don't even have a shirt of, dammit!

(Picks up blanket and wraps it around herself. Turns around to see Naruto, bluntly staring.)

I'm.

(Pulls tightly on blanket)

Going.

(Pulls tighter)

To.

(Pulls tighter)

KILL.

(Seams start to rip)

Naruto.

(Ripping more.)

Right.

(Full breaks and her back is exposed.)

NOW-Wait…

The blanket…

No…

It couldn't have…

No…

Sakura POV

Okay… just go in there and tell him… but he's a girl now… Maybe it'll be different…

NO! I HAVE to say thank you!

It's the right thing to do…

Normal POV

Sakura burst through the door.

"Sasuke-" She stopped mid-step once noticing Sasuke's unusual position and Naruto's dazed look.

(RANDOMLY) Naruto POV

-notgayimnotgayimnotgayimnotgayimnotgayimnotgay-(so on, and so forth)

Normal POV

"Sasuke…N-Naruto! WTF! What happened here!" Sakura yelled. She turned toward Sasuke. "AND YOU! I thought you didn't like Naruto! I mean, only God knows what you two would be doing if I-"

"Sakura, shut up. You're jumping the conclusions again. I still hate Naruto, you (cough, Neji, cough) and being a girl." Sasuke said.

"Then why're you topless and Naruto's dazed? HUH?" Sakura asked.

"He walked in on me while I was getting changed."

"Oh… well, that certainly explains a lot…"

"Now… what're you both doing here?" Sasuke asked.

"Uh…um… well…" Sakura stuttered, blushing. First, she walked in on Sasuke and jumped the conclusion… she can't just say "Thank you." Maybe "Thank you for not clawing my eyes out".

"_Well?_" Sasuke asked, now demanding an answer.

Naruto ran out the door and Sakura went to follow, but her legs weren't moving.

"Um… well… I wanted to say thank you for earlier." Sakura said.

"_And?_"

"And what?"

"What did I say about bursting into my house?"

"Oh, um… I'm really sorry for that, too. Happy now?" Sakura said, totally blowing it off.

"That's it?"

"Uh…"

"Jeeze... You're an idiot."

"I really have to clue what you're talking about."

"Well, you could at least _pretend_ to be sorry."

Sakura sighed. "I'm really, truly sorry for invading you house, yet again… for about the 10th-"

"13th, Sakura."

"Fine, _13th_ time this week." Sakura finished.

"Fine… You can go."

"Okay! See you tomorrow, Sasuke!" Sakura yelled, running out of the house.

"I'm getting _way_ too nice for this…" Sasuke said.

"I'll say."

Sasuke turned toward the window where (randomly) stood Gaara.

"Uh… what're you doing here?" Sasuke asked.

"I was looking for Sasuke Uchiha… but I think I'd found _her_ when I was looking for a_ him_." Gaara said in his oh-so-cheerful tone that only he has.

"What do you want now Gaara?' Sasuke asked rudely.

"I can't just stop by?"

"Not when you live that far away, you can't. Why are you really here?"

"Fine, then. Be that way. I need a place to stay for the night. You, obviously, have enough room for someone."

"What's THAT supposed to mean?"

"You very well know what it means."

"Fine. ONE night."

"You really are getting too nice."

"Shuddap…" Sasuke said. "BUT you have to leave for a second."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Gaara asked.

"Use the front door." Sasuke said, closing her window and the blinds.

"Ass…" Gaara muttered.

* * *

A/N: That's number 5… I never really had Gaara in the actual story, but I figured, he's gonna be in it later, so why not have him in a bit earlier as his oh-so-happy self? Also, this is the second chapter in one day! And both were kinda long! Please review! 


	6. The Future and Sasuke's wife

A/n: No reviews... it's like no one likes me anymore… please review! I wanna know if I'm wasting my time!

Shadow: You are.

Me: Shuddap! Anyway, chapter 6, for those who care-

Shadow: Which would be no one.

Me: Anyway, the pairs in this are just my opinion and one is fake.

**Chapter 6: The future and Sasuke's Wife**

The next morning…

Sakura slowly opened her eyes and noticed the sun peering through some slightly opened blinds. She automatically sat up and yelled, "OMG! I'm late again!"

She then jumped up and noticed that things weren't the same- like it wasn't her room, her house, or HER. She was older…15 years older…

"Aack! What happened? I have to find Sasuke and-"

Sakura stopped when she noticed an older (hotter) Naruto standing at the doorway.

"Who are you?" Sakura asked.

"Ha ha ha. I forgot how to laugh. It's me, Sakura." Naruto said.

"Yeah, yeah. Can't you take a joke? I always listen to yours," Sakura said. "But you wouldn't happen to know what-" she held up her hand to reveal a gold wedding ring "-This is, right?"

"Um… well…" Naruto held up his hand to reveal the same ring.

"…Um… that's awkward…" Sakura muttered.

"Does that mean in the future… we get…?" Naruto began.

"Married… I hope not." Sakura ended. "But, beside that…" she walked over to the closet and took out an outfit. "Do you mind?"

Naruto caught the hint and left the room.

Finally, after Sakura was changed, the two left toward the bridge (figuring it would be a good place to start to look for Sasuke). By the time they were half-way there…

"Finally. I've looked just about everywhere for you two," spoke a cold (male) voice from behind them.

The two slowly turned around to see Sasuke… once again a guy.

"Sasuke? Hey!" Sakura yelled. Sasuke stepped back a bit. "What's wrong?"

"If you're gonna yell I'm backing up." Sasuke said.

"Sorry…" Sakura said, slightly blushing from embarrassment. "But, I have a question: Are you married?"

"Why? ...Are you …and Naruto…?" Sasuke asked, holding back a laugh.

"…Yeah… I don't agree with it, though…" Sakura said, throwing a glare Naruto's way. "But, still…how about you?" Sakura asked.

Sasuke turned away.

"I can answer that!" TenTen yelled, appearing out of nowhere.

"Where'd you come from!" Naruto asked, surprised.

"My parents." TenTen responded.

"He's not married to _you_ is he?" Sakura asked.

"Nope. I'm married to Neji- but that's beside the point. He's married to-"

"If you value your life, don't finish that statement." Sasuke threatened.

"Ooh, I'm so scared of you. Anyway, he's married-"

"Don't. You. **DARE.**" Sasuke threatened.

"To-"

"Shut up, dammit!"

"H-aack!"

Sasuke had tackled TenTen to the ground to get her to shut up, only now the two were fist-fighting…

"Oh, not again…" Hinata muttered, appearing from nowhere important.

"Oh, hi Hinata," Naruto said.

Hinata lightly blushed. "Hi…"

"What do you mean, 'Not again.'?" Sakura asked.

"They've been doing that… all day… when ever… TenTen went to say… who Sasuke's married to…" Hinata said.

"So you know who it is then?" Naruto asked.

Hinata was a bit shocked that TenTen hadn't told the whole world yet.

"Um well… it's, uh, me." Hinata responded, looking down blushing madly. She then walked over to try and save TenTen and Sasuke from killing each other.

Sakura just about died from shock and Naruto burst out laugh. Sakura, aggravated, kick Naruto where the sun don't shine (if you catch my drift) and he toppled over.

TenTen then walked over to Sakura and whispered something in her ear that made Sakura blush madly.

"Um, does Neji know?" Sakura asked.

"Nope. And it's best it keep it that way. He's like Hinata's older brother! He'd probably kill Sasuke first!" TenTen yelled, laughing.

"I swear… before this day is over, I'm gonna-" Sasuke started.

"Now, now. No death threats in front of your wife." TenTen declared.

Sasuke began glaring holes into TenTen's head; Hinata laughed; Naruto continued moaning in pain; Sakura sighed; and TenTen seemed proud.

Kiba then appeared out of nowhere (people just do that, don't they?) with a horrified look on his face.

"I think I did something I shouldn't have," Kiba said.

* * *

A/N: And that's the chapter… PLEASE REVIEW! Thanks to those who will! And now, I'm gonna continue listening to "Bullets with Butterfly Wings".

_Despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage,_

_Despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage_

_Then someone will say what is lost can never be saved,_

_Despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage!_

Okay, stopping! Sorry, but if you people don't review, I'll be putting stuff like that in a lot.


	7. Neji's Tantrum

A/N: WOW… lots of reviews… This rocks! Better start answering them:

itachi'smaniac: YEAH!GAARA!

Satoshi Silver Syoran: I LOVE YOU GAARA!

A/N: YAY! Gaara freaks! Reminds me of someone else… and I'm sure she knows who I'm talking about…

Yaminah: Wow, poor Sasuke, everyone is walking in on him. Is Naruto ever going to get his voice back? btw, I love the way they all cal each other asses..Sasuke's changing...lol..Naruto's just thinking imnotgay like 20 billion times lol -

A/N: Yeah. LOL.

NARUfreak: Did Naruto leave the house? Or did Sasuke even put his shirt back on? What's Gaara here for? Did I miss something?

Naruto: 00

Sasuke: What?

Naruto thinking: I saw sasuke with hi- her shirt off. Heh-heh.

Sasuke: WHAT? Are you going to say something!

Naruto thinking: NO, obviously, you wished for me not to be able to talk, dumb ass.

Sasuke: WHAT! Fine, I give up.

Naruto thinking: fine. 00

A/N: Yes, Naruto did. Sasuke did after he closed the window on Gaara (which you'd have to find yourself) and Gaara comes in later, so I decided to put him in later.

Go Go Gal 13: OMG! THat story was so funny! I sory I just couldn't stop laughing! great job!

A/N: No, no! Laughing equals funny. Funny equals good!

Tsuchiko: I LOVE how you made Sasuke into a girl...I also like the randomness (yay I made a word)...Looks like Naruto just couldn't resist...

itachi'smaniac:

A/N: LOL

Alchemys-Shortstop: Haha that's funny. Sasuke is funny as a girl XD what if Sakura was a BOY! I wonder how that would go... heh heh imagination sees girl Sasuke and guy Saukra on a date haha

A/N: LOL… funny thing is I put that in the second part (spoiler…)

Alchemist Neko-chan: cool fic

A/N: Thanks

Ragnarok-The Fallen Angel: Wow, that's REALLY awkward. And what the hell did that muttboy do? Oh yeah, great story.

A/N: Yeah, it's kinda awkward.

Tsuchiko: Me-- Hey... I'm pretty sure I posted but anyway...Please CONTINUE! I am really enjoying this story! Yay I love all the pairings! Naruto and Sakura pairings... even though I'm not a big fan of Sakura's...

Inner me-- What are you talking about? Weren't you saying you were going to kill her because Neji is supposed to be you-

Me-- You know what? Youb are such a pain! I never said that.

Inner me-- So why do I have our conversation about Neji on my recorder?

Me--(Takes recorder and smashes it into a million pieces)What recorder? I don't see one anywhere.  
-  
Please Continue I really like the story and atleast most of the pairings. Happy now I said it! But I really do like Neji and Tenten pairings.

A/N: Thanks… I think…

The Rebel Goddess: Hah! this was a funny chapter, but how'd they got to the future? And dude, wasn't Gaara JUST standing there? What happened?

A/N: Like I said, Gaara is coming in again later.

Thanks for the reviews! That's over 1 full word page! Also, so I don't get in trouble (this might be the only time I do thisbecause I'mtoo lazy to remember to do it) I don't own Naruto... at all... Okay, moment's over. Anyway…

* * *

**Chapter 7: Neji's tantrum**

"What do you mean?" Hinata asked.

"GRR… DAMMIT! WHERE IS HE!" they heard Neji yell.

"Aw, crud…" Sasuke muttered, running off to the forest.

"Kiba! Why would you do this!" Hinata asked, raising her voice which kinda scared him…Hinata never raises her voice.

"What part of 'Don't tell Neji' do you NOT understand!" TenTen yelled.

"The 'Don't tell Neji' part..." Kiba replied. "But I didn't know it was a secret!"

"Well, if we WEREN'T telling Neji, then wouldn't that mean it's a secret?" TenTen asked.

"Uh, yeah?"

"Well, if you weren't laughing when we told you Sasuke and I were married, then we wouldn't have to-" Hinata began.

"KILL YOU!" TenTen interrupted.

"That's such a cruel thing to say!" Hinata exclaimed.

"How are you related to Neji?" TenTen asked.

"Or married to Sasuke?" Sakura added.

"WHERE.IS.HE." Neji growled, now right in front of the group.

"Uh… who? 'He' isn't very specific." TenTen said.

"You. Know. Who. I. Mean." Neji growled.

"Uh, no, not really, no." TenTen replied in a very unbelievable voice.

"_TenTen. . ._" Neji growled.

"He went that way," Naruto said, pointing to the forest.

"Wrong move, Naruto." Sakura growled. "I'll deal with you later."

Naruto sighed and nervously laughed, knowing Sakura was going to be tough on him…

Neji then began walking to the forest and TenTen clinged to his arm.

"Aw, c'mon Neji, leave Sasuke alone!" TenTen pleaded in a very annoying voice.

"No." Neji responded, pushing TenTen off and continuing on his way…

At least until Hinata stood in his way.

"Neji, stop right now. I'm not going to let you hurt Sasuke," she told him.

He didn't listen and only pushed past her.

"If my future self really is pregnant and married to him, then she must really love him! I can't let you hurt him." Hinata exclaimed.

"Hinata's pregnant? How can you tell? She doesn't _look_ pregnant," Naruto whispered to Sakura.

"TenTen said they found it in a journal her future self has." Sakura whispered back.

"Uh… o-kay…" Naruto said.

"And just how do you intent to stop me?" Neji asked.

Hinata, fed up with Neji's attitude and completely mad kicked him where the sun don't shine and he toppled over.

"YAY! WOHOO! Go Hinata!" TenTen yelled.

Hinata, however, didn't hear it because she had set off into the forest.

"Naruto, you know what happens now?" Sakura asked, glaring at him.

"I get yelled at?" He asked.

"You bet."

"Aw, man… But Neji didn't chase after Sasuke! Don't I get points for that?"

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

"Aw, c'mon!"

"For the last time, no."

"But-"

"NO!"

"Sak-"

"I SAID 'NO'!"

Naruto sighed. "Fine…"

"Good choice."

"You're gonna kill me aren't you?"

"I wasn't planning to before you fought with me, but I might just have to now."

"Why?"

"Don't question me."

"Fine."

* * *

A/N: Sorry it took so long to put up, but I've been doing other stuff lately. Also, sorry for the short chapter, but the next few will be a bit longer... I think... I still have 16 front-back loose-leal/lined paper left... and to this point, the story was 13 front-back pages... so I'm a little below halfway done... kinda... there's still only gonna be 15 chapters, though, so don't get your hopes too far up. And, the second part is just about done, so it'll be on directly after this story is finished. Something to look foward to. 


	8. Gaara's WIFE! And Neji's Tantrum 2

A/N: Okay, so this next chapter is another one of my faves, but before that, I'll answer reviews:

Ragnarok-The Fallen Angel: Not your best chapter.

A/n: Yeah, I know, but this chapter is really funny… or so says a friend of mine.

summer-loven-2: lol! O MY GOD! this stoey is so funny. Keep'em coming.

A/N: Will do.

itachi'smaniac: ME:Mommy, how did Hinata get a baby inher stomach?Did she eat her?  
Mom:Well...Um..You seeIn complete panick modeWhen a mommy and a daddy love each other very very much...  
Mom:Damn you spykitty,damn you! .  
()

A/N: LOL. Thanks… I think…

Tsuchiko: Oh I wonder if Gaara is married to someone...

A/N: Wait and find out… well, okay, this chapter's title answers that for you, but still…

Whatever… And, there is a lot of skipping around in this chapter, but the **bold** and underlined words should help you figure that out. Also, I'll have random sound effects in… where ever.

**Random NASCAR Quote: **

"_Got you tv turned up?"_

"_Yep."_

"_Gonna wake the neighbors?"_

"_Yep."_

Anyway, chapter 8!

**Chapter 8: Gaara's… WIFE! And Neji's Tantrum, part 2**

"Okay… maybe I ran a _little_ too far…" Sasuke muttered, looking around and noticing the bland, tan desert around him.

"Gaara, c'mon! You're gonna be late! ... Again!"

Sasuke looked over and noticed Gaara literally being dragged (obviously like he didn't want to, considering his arms were crossed and he looked like a little boy who was about to throw a temper-tantrum) by some random blond girl who seemed to have stolen the Kazekage hat and was wearing it.

The girl (wonderfully named Ashley… as in my _wonderful_ (counotgh) friend) noticed Sasuke, looked down at Gaara who didn't show any sign of moving for himself.

"Fine then, forget you!" Ashley yelled, and then headed over to Sasuke. "Hi. I'm Gaara's wife."

"Uh… what?"

"I'm Gaara's wife."

"I got that."

"Well, my name is Ashley…"

"Uh, okay…"

"And I like cheese!"

"… Wow, Gaara, you married a winner." Sasuke teased.

"Shut. Up. Or. ELSE." Gaara muttered under his breath… but it was still quite loud.

"Can't be any worse than what Neji is gonna do to me when he catches me." Sasuke muttered. "Anyway, how'd you get married? Obviously against your own will…"

"It was his never failing stupidity!" Ashley randomly added.

"Shut. Up." Gaara demanded in his oh-so-happy tone.

"Well, if you thought about what a paper that said "Form of _Marriage_" on it _before_ signing it when I lied and said it was someone wanting your autograph, you wouldn't be considered stupid, OR married to me… But I'M not complaining! . "

"Okay, well, THAT was by-far THE stupidest thing I've heard of someone else doing… besides half the stuff Naruto does, but he has a mental issue or something, so he doesn't count."

"Probably." Ashley responded.

"Will you people just GO AWAY and leave me alone, especially you, Ashley, and if you even think of following me I'll kill you, bring you back, cut your head off, bring you back, shoot you with a machine gun, bring you back, clone you, kill you then bring you back so you can watch your clones die, then tape your eyes open and tie you to a chair that's super-glued to the ground and make you watch Barney until you die, then bring you back, kill you again, bring you back, torture you until you sign the divorce paper which will probably kill you, then bring you back and live on with my life FAR away from you which means… god, I forgot what I was saying… " Gaara stated, and then he stood up and began walking away.

"… I think that's the most I've ever heard Gaara say…" Sasuke muttered.

"I love you, too, Gaara!" Ashley randomly yelled, hearts and all… which is weird even for her. "Anyway, Sasuke, are you married?" she asked randomly (do I even need to say that?).

"Uh… how do you know who I am?" Sasuke bluntly asked.

"Never mind that! Are you married or not?" Ashley asked, now mad and demanding an answer.

Sasuke turned away.

"I'll take that as a 'yes'. Who is it?"

"Hinata…" Sasuke muttered. Ashley just about died of laughter. "What's so funny?"

"H… Hinata! The girl who just about DIES when Naruto's around? HA! That's HILLARIOUS!" Ashley yelled between laughs.

"Glad to know I'm entertaining you…" Sasuke sarcastically muttered. "But should you go get Gaara before he returns to the Sand village?"

"What do you mean?"

"He was heading toward it."

…

…

…

…

"GAARA! GET THE HELL BACK HERE, DAMN YOU!" Ashley shrieked before chasing after the possibly going to be massacred Kazekage.

Sasuke followed after her, finding this hilarious.

**MEANWHILE… At Naruto and Sakura's…**

"Naruto, that was completely inappropriate and rude." Sakura stated.

"What, the telling Neji where Sasuke was or the laughing?" Naruto stupidly asked.

"Both."

"But it was funny! YOU wanted to marry Sasuke, but Hinata beat you to it! And she was probably the only girl who I though didn't like Sasuke!" Naruto stated before hollering with laughter.

"Want to know something funnier? Hinata liked _you_." Sakura stated before walking away.

"Uh… Hinata liked me?" Naruto bluntly asked.

"Yeah, arsehole, you blew that, huh?" Sakura called back.

**ANYWAY…**

In the forest, Neji was looking for Hinata and TenTen tagged along.

"Dammit… where the HECK did she go!" Neji yelled, obviously attempting to ask a question but it was hard considering how mad he was. "I'm gonna KILL her!"

"Aren't you, like, her guard or something? Is it even legal for you to kill her?" TenTen asked, giving Neji a weird look.

"Why the hell do you care?" Neji asked.

"LANGUAGE!" TenTen yelled.

"What?"

"You heard me!"

"It never fucking bothered you before!"

"Well, that's because before a crush word didn't fly out of your mouth ever 5 seconds!"

"I'm anger! It's my way of fuckin' venting, got it?"

"Well, you should be more appropriate!"

"Shut the hell up1 I can say whatever the hell I feel like!"

"No, YOU shut up and get some anger management lessons while you're at it!"

"Go to hell!"

"Being around you is enough like it!"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"Why the heck did you follow me anyway?" Neji asked, not nearly as mad.

"Well, wouldn't YOU like to know," TenTen said in a mocking voice.

**ELSEWHERE…**

Sasuke, Ashley and Gaara(again being dragged against his will) arrived at the forest.

"Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeell… at least we made it to the forest…" Ashley said. She then pointed to Gaara, "no thanks to you and all your not wanting to come."

"…" Gaara only glared in response, stood up, and began walking toward Konoha(Sorry for spelling… if it's wrong).

Ashley sighed and followed.

"Ashley, was it?" Sasuke asked.

"Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees?" she asked in an annoying voice, obviously trying to get on their nerves.

"Why are you wearing the Kazekage hat?"

"Cause, if Gaara wore it and I dragged him, it'd get dirty! Plus, it doesn't go very well with his outfit, anyway."

"Oh, Sasuke, there you are!" Hinata exclaimed, randomly appearing from no where…

Sasuke anxiously looked around, "Where's Neji?"

"Not here." Ashley stated.

"I know that." Sasuke replied.

"Who's that?" Hinata asked.

"Gaara's wife, Ashley!" she yelled.

"You didn't have to yell!" Sasuke yelled back.

"So, you're yelling!"

"Just shut up!"

"Stop yelling at me then!"

"GAH! Go away!"

"Never! "

"You know Gaara left without you. Again. And he's probably not going to wait for you. Again. And leave for his village. Again. So, why don't you just leave us alone and chase him. Again." Sasuke randomly stated.

"… OH Dammit! . Gaara get back here NOW… AGAIN!" Ashley yelled, then ran off after Gaara.

"Um… what was THAT about?" Hinata asked.

"I. Have. No. Clue… Sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo… how'd you get rid of Neji?" Sasuke asked.

"Um……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………… (Silence)"

"Well?"

"I kicked him…"

"Where?"

"Y'know… _there_…"

"(Surprised expression)… Wow, that's harsh."

"I know."

"He's gonna kill you."

"Yep."

"Okay, well, he'll kill _me_ first, but you'll be next."

"Nah TenTen's probably first."

"True dat."

"Totally, dude…"

"Why were we talking like that?"

"No clue… But we sounded like hippies."

"No, hippies are weirder… and they love everyone… and everything."

"Yeah, you so can't be a hippie, Sasuke."

"Like I'd even _want_ to."

"I can't picture you as one… wait, yeah I can… it's a funny picture!"

"Like Gaara in a pink tutu?"

"Okay, now THAT is a hilarious image!"

"Tell me about it!"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"So…"

"Wanna got back to the village?"

"Yeah…"

"Why'd you come out here anyway?" Sasuke randomly asked.

"Well, if I stayed there he'd of killed me." Hinata responded.

"Nah, me first."

"Then TenTen… Whoa, I feel like we've said this before…"

"I think we did…"

* * *

A/N: Random part at the end… but that was a random talk between Sasuke and Hinata… And Ashley IS a really life person, f.y.i.

Sorry it took so long to update…


	9. Meeting with the Kazekage

A/N: Okay, random chapter over… but this starts off and a serious note… but Gaara and his 'wife' reappear in yet another kind, wonderful, nice, pain-less meeting.

Review time! I have a lot of angry reviewers this time…

**Ladyaymie**: O! D! well this is is going on my favorites. X) and whoa, their future selves... WHOA... lol...

A/N: Thanks!

**I Have An Alter Ego:** I am going to kill you! Gaara shall never marry this 'Ashley' person. He would have killed her or I will in several days. Ashley will die. Don't pair Gaara with her even if it is in the future or whatever. Gaara is not anyones. He is doomed to therefore destroy whomever he loves. That is all. O and your story gets too confusing by the seventh chappy. 'Kay? Okay. Ashley will be killed by many fan girls and a half vampire fan girl which is my friend. Just to fill you in on it!

**Satoshi Silver Syoran: **YOU. MADE. GAARA. GET. MARRIED! NO! I LOVE GAARA! -evil glint in eye and pulls out several kunai and a fuma shuriken- DIE! -stabs Ashley . . . a lot-

**A/N:** 1, don't kill me, kill DemonoftheSand, because she's who Gaara's "wife". 2, I don't really agree with the fact the Gaara's married, and it doesn't last long cause they disappear. 3, I'm writing a new story (yet another Naruto one) and I'm looking for Gaara fangirls who want to fight with Gaara staying single unless it's with one of them and Ashley won't be one of them… I could always add background information that you all killed her! And, you'll find out soon that this future isn't exactly accurate, so Ashley doesn't really matter… And, quite frankly, I think Gaara should stay single. That's all.

**Tsuchiko:** HI! It's me again. Really awesome chapter. Wouldn't it be funny if Naruto really was that random? Poor poor Gaara.

Laterz

A/N: Yeah… poor poor Gaara…

**Random Quote:**

"At least my mom isn't on the cover of crack-whore magazine!" Kyle

* * *

**Chapter 9: Meeting with the Kazekage**

Randomly at Sakura and Naruto's…

"Naruto, you're wanted at the Hokage's office," Sakura stated, holding up a letter.

"I didn't do it, I swear!" Naruto yelled.

"Not like that. You're late for a meeting with the Kazekage." Sakura said, reading it off the paper.

"Wait, wh-"

Sakura pushed Naruto out of the house and slammed the door in his face.

"Well, that's just nice." Naruto muttered before running off.

**Meanwhile, in the office…**

Gaara wasn't mad anymore. No, he was WAY past mad… WAY passed pissed off, too. In fact, if it weren't for those darn anger management lessons Temari sent his to, SOMEONE would be dead now.

He KNEW it was a bad idea to come here, but NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO… Ashley just HAD to make him come…

Ashley had caught up and was standing just outside the door, TOTALLY P.O.ed. Before she entered, however, Naruto appeared.

"Who are you?' he asked.

"Gaara's wife." She stated, no longer in a cheerful, annoying voice, rather an angry, "I'll chop you head off if you touch and/or talk to me again you dammed jackass" voice, much like Gaara on a good day! (You KNOW I had to make that joke)

"…Gaara's married?" Naruto asked.

"Yeah, you dumbarse. That's what I said, isn't it!" Ashley yell-asked before entering the room.

"_Gaara…_ Why the HELL did you do that to me? I mean, GEEZE!" Ashley yelled.

"I didn't do anything." Gaara stated.

"You're joking, right?" Ashley yell-asked.

"No."

Ashley, being of mad mind (in more ways than one) and boiling over with anger did something… completely stupid (to her) but hilarious (to us).

Naruto began laughing his head off, Gaara became the furious one, and Ashley caught wind of what she had done. She had slapped –Actually SLAPPED- Gaara- THE GAARA! THE Kazekage who could kill her in a millisecond, _without even trying!_

The only thing she could say is "… Holy… SHIT!"

She then jumped out the window, miraculously landed fine, and began running for her life, quickly followed by Gaara.

"ASHLEY GET THE **_HELL_** BACK HERE!" Gaara yelled.

"No, you're gonna hurt me! And you're chasing me!" Ashley yelled back.

"THEN STOP RUNNING1"

"Would _you_ stop if someone were chasing you who knew 100 ways to hurt you and 1,000,000 MORE ways to _kill_ you!"

"YES!"

"That's cause you have a death wish! I don't!"

Naruto stared, shocked at what had happened.

"Gaara's gone insane… I would have figured he'd of killed someone THAT annoying by now…" Naruto muttered to no one in particular.

He then looked around the office and there was no one but him.

"Looks like this meetings over…" Naruto told himself as he left the room.

* * *

A/N: That's another of my famous, almighty short chapters… and if you'd like to sign up to be one of the select Gaara's fangirls, pm me or review giving me permission. I promise that Ashley won't be in that one, and if this were real life, she'd of been killed about 2 seconds (if even that long) after showing Gaara her collection of personally draw pictures of him… 


	10. NOTE TO GAARA FANGIRLS

OKAY... this is NOT an update for the story, but I'd like to say that if ANYONE gets on DemonoftheSand's case about the Gaara's wife thing (that means pming rude/mean comments to her and/or dissing her fanfictions because of this) I'll take the matter to higher means (as in reporting you).

HOWEVER, I'm sure no one will go much farther than play-killing in my reviews, which is fine. Totaly, completely fine... I like that kind of stuff!

**PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE**

Don't make me report you! I DON'T want to have to do that to someone! Thanks for understanding!

**---------------This was NOT an actual chapter (reminding) and I'll have the next on up soon.------------------------**

Also, don't think I'm a bad person for saying this- cause I'm not. I'm just a New Yorker who's overprotective of friends, and I REALLY don't want to have to report anyone.

As of Thursday, May 11, 2006, at 3:23 pm (on the East shore) if ANYONE takes my thing TOO seriously to the degrees stated above, you'll risk my updating stories and/or being reported.

----Not trying to be mean, just being an overprotective NYer----

**----------spykitty----------**


	11. Telling Neji Off what fun!

A/N: Sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo… Before I start the chapter or answer any reviews……………………….

Has anyone checked out Naruto, chapter 306? I just did and boy was I surprised!

FINALLY! They finally friggin' showed Sasuke's face! I'm SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO happy! And people say liking Sasuke is stupid… Which you might find weird since I'm always making fun of him (which is what I LOVE to do to my anime obsessions (like Shadow and Sasuke)).

Anyway, let's answer reviews (YAY! 40 reviews!)

Tsuchiko: Yes! Ashley is gone. Does her new Ashley is gone dance What I'm probably not the only one...

A/N: I would LOVE to see that dance…

itachi'smaniac: O! Me ,Pick Me! I want to kill Ashely !Pwease, perty Pwease! Puppy dog eyes (Names on profile)In case u Haven't noticed I'm a Gaara Fangirl (AND PROUD OF IT!).  
00GAARA,GAARA,GAARA,GAARA,GAARA,GAARA,GAARA,GAARA,GAARA,GAARA,GAARA,GAARA,GAARA,GAARA,GAARA,GAARA,GAARA,GAARA,GAARA,GAARA,GAARA,GAARA,GAARA,GAARA,GAARA,GAARA,GAARA,GAARA,GAARA,GAARA,GAARA,GAARA,GAARA,GAARA,GAARA,GAARA,GAARA,GAARA,GAARA,GAARA,GAARA!

A/N: Sure! I'm definitely adding you to the list of Gaara Fangirls in my other story!

Ragnarok-The Fallen Angel: Your friend was right, it was much funnier than last chapter. Poor Garra.

A/N: Yep. Poor Gaara and I'm happier that you all think it's funnier now… which is what it should be.

Ragnarok-The Fallen Angel (again): I refuse your offer, for I am not a fangirl; I am a boy, no, a man! HAHSAHAHAHAHAHA! HA! Oh, and I think Garra's been insane for a LONG LONG time. Angry reviewers are funny. Hehe. I wonder...I HATE GARRA!

A/N: Well, I'm not so crazy about Gaara myself… Like I said above, I'm more of a Sasuke person… and I LOVE how random (and funny) my story is with the help of the insane Gaara fangirls reviewing.

Satoshi Silver Syoran: 1) GOO GAARA -kills Demon of the Sand in background- 2 Good 3 PICK ME PICK ME!

A/N: Okay! That's 2 Gaara fangirls!

I Have An Alter Ego: The non important review:  
YAY! gaara single is good. If not Gaara.+.Ashley. the end of ashley by the hand of many a fangirl plus me. Gaara going insane makes me smile. If Gaara does not kill her, I will personally paralyze her but she can still feel. Then cut her then pour lemon juice over the wound. Then kill her. Then revive her. Then repeat process. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! that is all Oh and I will be a crazy fan girl to kill her! Pick me! Pick ME!

The actual review:  
There is an actual arc about the future. It is the second arc and it is a time skip, if you didn't know that is.

A/N: Okay, #3!

Ragnarok-The Fallen Angel: "Those who break the rules are garbage, but those who betray their friends are less than garbage"

A/N: Thank you for posting that- that's what I keep in mind.

Satoshi Silver Syoran: So, I still get to kill the OC her in the fic (in my reviews) right/

A/N: Yep. Just don't harass her. That's all I ask. And, try to just call her Ashley… I don't want this to ruin her rep. as a great random writer (though she has most of them on Media Minor.)

Spyfoxgirl: UPDATE! PLZ! i love your story. i'm started to like sasuke now, lol, as girl form that is...and you really did do a good job on the story, i added it to favs 'k and i love your discription of garra's wife and i'm not against that... so please continue this story

A/N: So, someone likes Ashley after all…

The Goddess of the Madhouse: hahaha, sorry but this is strangely funny.

A/N: That's the point!

The Goddess of the Madhouse (twice in a row!):

Tora: Nya, were the Gaara fangirls being dumb?

Kaden: all fangirls are dumb.

Nina: Yah! jumps on him how DARE you! Censored

Sora,Sarra,Kali,Yuna,Tora: '

Nina: I'm better now.

Kaden: beat up --' Stupid girls...

Sora,Sarra,Kali,Yuna,Nina: WHAT! censored

Tora: " Can you believe they live in my head?

The others: Ah, better now

Kaden: -- ...ouch.

A/N: Well, I'm a fangirl… just I'm not obsessed to death… otherwise I wouldn't make fun of how stupid they can be! . ?Isn't that right Sasuke and Shadow?

Both: Shut up!

Anyway, that's 40 reviews! YAY! Okay, chapter 10!

**Chapter 10: Telling Neji off- what fun!**

While that weird… very weird… event happened in Konoha, Sasuke and Hinata were on their way back to the village and thought they'd be save from Neji-----------

---------Until he appeared out of nowhere and almost gave Hinata a heart attack.

"Aack! Neji1 Where'd… um… you, uh come from?" Hinata asked.

"Don't! Even! JOKE! Like! That!" Neji yelled/vented.

"Neji, grow up. Hinata can make her own decisions and she doesn't need you following her around everywhere!" Sasuke yelled.

TenTen sighed. _'This can't end well…'_

"Why you-------------"

Ashley then came out of nowhere, just about ran Neji over (literally), but continued running.

Gaara was next to arrive, but he stopped running.

"God, this is getting us NOWHERE!" He growl/whine/yell/muttered (which only he can do all that at once).

"Can't you use the sand to teleport or whatever?"

"… Oh, yeah…" Gaara mutter before doing just that.

Not too far down the path, Ashley was still running for dear life and noticed that Gaara wasn't chasing her and figured she'd lost him- silly girl. You can't lose Gaara.

But she still thought she was safe-

-until Gaara randomly appeared in her path, at which point she tripped on air (which still likes no one (see reference to air hating people in "That Scary Naruto Thing")) and took Gaara down with her.

He automatically shoved her off and she stood up, then muttered "Oopsie…" in a very childish voice.

Gaara is going to commit mass murder on her… which isn't really mass murder, since it's only one person, but still…

First she slapped him, then tripped _onto_ him and now…Forcefully kissed him…

'_God… I'm… SO… Dead…' _she thought.

AWKAWARD…

**ANYWAY:**

"Untie me NOW!" Neji yelled as TenTen finished the knot that was holding Neji to a tree.

"That should hold you!" TenTen exclaimed ever-so-happily.

"Grrr… then Sasuke better not touch Hinata or else I'll…" Neji's voice trailed off.

"What can you do, tied to that tree?" Sasuke teased.

"From what I've heard you've had your fair share of being tied to trees." TenTen said.

"…"

"But anyway, I think that you should let Hinata do what she wants." TenTen suggested.

"If she agrees with that statement, why can't she say it herself?" Neji asked. He waited a moment and no one responded. "I knew it- huh?"

Neji and TenTen (shockingly) shared the exact same (weird) shocked expression.

Hinata was –forcefully- kissing Sasuke, who was just about as weirded out of TenTen and Neji.

"HA! How's THAT fro telling you off, huh Neji? Now, THIS is funny!" TenTen blurted out as Neji just about passed out from anger.

Hinata then broke the kiss.

"Put your arm around me," Hinata whispered.

"……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………… wha?" Sasuke asked, completely messed up from the –forced- kiss.

"Just do it!" Hinata yell-whispered.

Sasuke, still messed up, did that quickly, not wanting to get Hinata mad- he can barely stand ONE Hyuuga mad at him.

"Let's go," Hinata next said, and the two began walking off.

"TenTen! Let me go NOW! I have to go----" Neji yelled.

"You WILL NOT touch them, you hear me?" TenTen interrupted. "All you _have_ to do is apologize, got that?"

"Why do I have to marry _you_?" Neji asked.

"THAT you can blaim your future self for… he'd be the one who proposed!" TenTen exclaimed oh-so-happily.

* * *

A/N: Another short update that took forever to do… well, the next one is kinda long, and it gets funnier… 


	12. So THAT'S why

A/n: REVIEWS!

Ragnarok-The Fallen Angel: What happens in Ch. 306? My information can't be updated THAT quickly. Also, I think that Neji should be the one to kill Ashley (no offense to you or Ashley...whoever that is) and NOT Garra. Why? Neji's more awesomer.

A/N: Well, really all that happens is they found Sasuke after the 2 1/2+ years and the 6 full weeks that they started teasing you about him still being alive… And, beside the fact that his American voice actor is that idiot Frodo from Lord of the Rings, yeah, Neji is pretty cool.

678yui-julie-and-kiki: you should turn them back to normal with only naruto and sakura rembering

A/N: That's a good idea, but then it would make some of the stuff in the second part go to waste.

Satoshi Silver Syoran: WAHOO! I LOVE YOU GAARA! Once you post the fic, give teh link to me please! WAHOO! -does the, I am so happy I get to be in a fic with Gaara dance- WAHO! -too happy to express-

A/N: Will do.

summer-loven-2: HAHA! Neji is so... MAD. GO HINATA!

A/N: LOL

.SasukeUchiha'sBeautiful.pink.sweet.CherryBlossoms.: whoaz. i didnt know hinata wuz dat outgoing.

A/N: I didn't know either. Most of this just kinda wrote itself (I bet that sound crazy, but it's true.)

The Goddess of the Madhouse: Tora: Yup, it's me again. I tied up the voices in my head (god knows how) so I can talk normally. That was a pretty good chapter, but it was very short, and random...but that's the point isn't it? don't really get where the kiss came from, maybe you can explain this to me.

A/N: That'll all be explained in this chapter.

I Have An Alter Ego: Non important review:

I have actually tripped over air, a crack, my feet, a chair, tiredness, scaredness, and other things. Do not doubt that it is possible in real life. Neji freaking out makes me smile too. No fair I wanna be a crazy fan girl! WAH:cries on floor until puddle of two inches which i drown in: I am all better. Ashley isn't the worst Gaara obsessed fan so I don't consider her someone worth killing. Yelling off into the distance, "You hear that Vampire girl! I promised I wouldn't kill her now give me back my cookies!"

Um.. Almost Important Review:

Sasuke's hair is the same in 306 that saddens me. He looks the same but taller. This disappointed my friend who then hit me for telling her. I got a bruise

Actualy Review.. I think:

Good story is random which makes me smile. Ilike your story but there was a tiny mistake. You forgot a comma. Just to let you know I am a perfectionist in some things not alot most of the time i am a lazy bum but in other things perfectionist.

Actualy Review:

I forgot what I was going to say but I wanted to frustrate you so I made my review uber long. Teehee! Just kidding. Okay now I am done for now. :walks off with evil look in eye: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! that reminds me my friends voted me the evilist glare out of my friends. I scared the tough girl at my school! Yay me! oh wait sorry I have the attention span of 3 goldfish that's 15 seconds.

A/N: Could you make the review any longer? Wait, don't answer that… anyway, I'm sure if you have an alter ego, you have a pretty nasty evil glare. Go you!

Ladyaymie: lol, Neji and Tenten DO bicker like a married couple hahaha...

A/N: Really, I kinda based them off of the couple I'd like to be a part of (obviously, I'd be a lot nicer than TenTen cause I'm not THAT annoying, but still…)

Tsuchiko: Are you sure you want to see my Ashley's gone dance. It's not that I'm crazy about Gaara I just don't know who would'nt be a little scared to marry him. It's just the way it's supposed to be...Gaara should be with noone.

Laterz

A/N: Okay, so I really wouldn't like to see it, but I agree with you… I'd be scared to marry Gaara… Then again, I'm not into guys who look like they wear eyeliner… like Green Day… they scare me… which is most likely why I don't like him, but still…

**Chapter 11: So THAT'S why…**

"What was that about back there?" Sasuke asked.

"What do you mean?" Hinata asked, innocently.

"Kissing me."

"Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh… THAT… Well… I thought we could get rid of Neji that way," Hinata muttered.

"What?" Sasuke bluntly asked.

"I kissed you to get back at Neji."

"You're a bitch, you know that?"

"I figured you'd be mad at me." Hinata sighed.

"…You'd rather me be mad at you that Neji?" Sasuke asked, getting angry.

"Well, I figured you wouldn't rip my head off."

"What makes you so sure?"

"… Just a feeling."

"A suicidal feeling."

"Maybe so."

"SASUKE!"

Before either could blink, Ino was clinging to Sasuke's arm.

"Ino. Get. Off. Now. If. You. Want. To. Live. To. See. Tomorrow." Sasuke threatened while glaring holes into Ino's head.

"Sasuke, what're you doing here with that girl?" Ino asked after being shoved off Sasuke's arm.

"She's my wife here," Sasuke stated before giving Hinata a brief kiss on the lips.

"GGGGGRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I'm gonna KILL that GENIE!" Ino shrieked.

"Wait… genie… Where is it, Ino?" Sasuke demanded.

"Am I the only one lost here?" Hinata muttered.

"I don't know! I lost it!" Ino responded.

Sasuke wanted to kill Ino, then thought about it, grabbed Hinata's wrist and pulled her off.

Of course, Naruto had seen the hole ordeal and rushed to tell Sakura.

_ELSEWHERE_…

"You saw Sasuke… what?" Sakura asked, falling back onto the couch.

"I'm serious. I saw _him_ **kiss** _her_. I'm NOT lying," Naruto explained.

"I have to go find them!" Sakura yelled before heading out.

"But _Sakura_! _We're_ married and _we _haven't spent _any_ time together!" Naruto whined, but Sakura had already left.

Elsewhere…

"What was THAT about?" Hinata asked.

"You used me to get rid of Neji, so I used YOU to get rid of Ino. Sounds fair." Sasuke responded.

"Just cause it sounds fair doesn't mean it _is_ fair," Sakura explained.

"Whatever… That's beside the point. Ino mentioned the genie, so she wished herself here… but why are WE here, too? I don't think she even knows your name…" Sasuke teased.

"Shut up and continue."

"How can someone shut up AND continue talking at the same time?"

"You know what I mean!"

"Anyway, who's to say we'd ALL still be in the SAME village or all alive? Also, shouldn't Naruto still be unable to talk and shouldn't I still be a girl?"

"Best not think about it now. Thing is we ARE here NOW and that's it. Why don't we go find Naruto and Sakura?" Hinata suggested.

"Whatever."

* * *

A/N: So, I lied. This was another short chapter. Ah, well. 


	13. Naruto and Sakura's house

A/N: Okay, another good chapter, but one of the most random, yet funny chapters is after this and it's called "The Wet Cat", so look forward to it!

**Chapter 12: Naruto and Sakura's house**

"Well, Sakura just left to find you two…" Naruto explained.

"Well, that sucks." Sasuke said.

"Yeah, but she'll be back soon… I hope…" Naruto said. "BUT... Until then, Hinata, you can come in."

"What about me?" Sasuke asked.

"You can wait out here." Naruto said.

"Ha ha ha. Very funny." Sasuke said, pushing passed Naruto and joining Hinata in the sitting room. The two sat down on a couch and Naruto took a seat across from them.

"I don't get it…" Naruto muttered.

"Get what?" Hinata asked.

"You two barely know each other, yet you spent the whole day together and I can't stay in a room with Sakura more than 2 seconds." Naruto said. "And you two even kissed!"

"WHAT!" Sasuke and Hinata yelled.

"Oh, was it a secret?" Naruto asked. "Cause I told Sakura, so it's not gonna be a secret anymore."

Hinata began blushing as Sasuke sent Naruto a glare that could freeze hell over.

He then stood up and dragged Naruto to his feet by his shirt.

"Forget. You. Saw. THAT." Sasuke threatened.

"Oh, how scary. The Great Sasuke is threatening to kill me. I'm so scared." Naruto teased. "I DARE you to hurt me."

"Suit yourself." Sasuke said before throwing Naruto into a wall.

"Sasuke! Why would you do that?" Hinata shrieked then ran over to see if Naruto was okay.

"He told me to do it." Sasuke said.

"I was _joking_ you know." Naruto said, standing up.

"Are you okay?" Hinata asked.

"Yeah. It's not the FIRST time I was thrown into a wall… right, Sasuke?" Naruto teased. "And it won't be the last."

"Would you like me to reintroduce you to the wall again?" Sasuke asked.

"That won't be necessary. I think the wall needs his space." Naruto joked.

I'm sure your wondering what happened to Ashley and Gaara…

"Ashley, get OFF OF ME NOW!" Gaara yelled-demanded.

"No. You'll kill me if I do." Ashley said.

"Then untie my hands."

"Then I'd REALLY die."

Ashley somehow managed to tie Gaara's hands apart and tripped him. She was currently sitting on poor Gaara.

Some Kazekage HE is…

ANYWAY…

Sakura soon arrived back at her and Naruto's house and saw Naruto and Sasuke yelling at each other (what else is new?).

"If you're so upset about not spending anytime with Sakura then why didn't you go with her?" Sasuke asked.

"Well, if you didn't kiss Hinata, then she wouldn't of left!" Naruto argued.

"You didn't have to tell Sakura!"

"Are you two fighting about me?" Sakura asked.

"Sakura, your back!" Naruto said, running over.

"Well, this explains why I couldn't find you in the village." Sakura muttered.

"Speaking of the village, look what I found earlier!" Naruto yelled, pulling out the genie bottle.

"Y'know what this means? We can reverse Ino's wish and get back to the right time!" Sasuke declared.

"But we can't reverse another's wish," Naruto reminded him.

"Oh, yeah…" Sasuke muttered.

"That was a very Naruto moment." Sakura said.

* * *

A/N: LONG LIVE THE SHORT CHAPTERS! 


	14. The Wet Cat

A/N: YAY! A funny chapter!

**Chapter 13: The Wet Cat**

"Would you like to meet the wall again?" Sasuke asked/threatened.

"Oh, I'm so scared. The Great Sasuke is gonna throw me into a friggin' wall again." Naruto teased.

Sasuke was ready to pounce (and kill) Naruto, but Hinata grabbed Sasuke by the back of the neck and was holding very tightly (with randomly long nails).

"Leave Naruto alone, got it?" Hinata asked.

Sasuke half nodded and Hinata released her grasp. She looked at her nail tips and saw some blood. About 0.259 (That's the MegaMan dimension in decimal form!) seconds later, Sasuke noticed and began freaking out.

"Oops… I guess I held on a bit too hard…" Hinata muttered.

"Hinata, I'd run. The Great Sasuke is gonna kill you for harming his flawless skin." Naruto teased.

"Nah, I'll just kill YOU!" Sasuke yelled, running at Naruto, who then jumped behind Sakura… which didn't work because Naruto ran outside for better coverage, at which point Sasuke chased after him.

"Those two are worse than normal…" Sakura sighed.

"Not worse than Kiba." Hinata added.

"That sound funny coming from you." Sakura said, laughing.

"I'm serious! He's so annoying… like a walking, talking, and breathing annoyance machine." Hinata said.

"What does that make Naruto?"

"What do you mean?"

"You NEVER noticed how annoying Naruto is?"

After about 10 minutes…

Sasuke came in drenched like (and looking like) a wet cat, dragging an equally drenched Naruto who was out cold.

"Well, well, look what the cat dragged it." Sakura teased.

"I'm NOT a cat." Sasuke stated.

"Well, whenever you get wet you look like one." Sakura said.

"Death glare included." Hinata added.

"I'm not a cat." Sasuke stated again.

"Right. You're a snake." Sakura said.

"No, I'm not." Sasuke said.

"That's right, cat's kill snakes, right?" Sakura asked.

"That's weasels… and you're the SMART one…" Sasuke muttered.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Sakura asked.

Sasuke turned away.

"What's the matter, catboy? Too good to answer?" Sakura asked.

"I'm NOT a FRIGGIN' cat!" Sasuke yelled.

"Then stop hissing at me!" Sakura yelled.

"Snakes hiss, too!"

"So now you're a cat?"

"Not, I'm not! I'm not a snake OR a cat! I'm an avenger-" Sasuke started.

"Oh, GOD not this!" Sakura moaned.

Naruto then regained consciousness.

"Why does Sasuke look like a cat?" Naruto stupidly asked.

Sasuke turned toward Naruto, gave him a 'You-have-5-seconds-to-run-and-I'm-at-4-1/2-already' glare, and Naruto got the message.

Hinata, however, got between Sasuke and the door (which Naruto ran out) and threatened to scratch Sasuke's eyes out if he tried to kill Naruto again. Sasuke agreed, then, once Hinata turned away, ran out the door after Naruto.

"SASUKE! GET THE HELL BACK HERE!" Hinata yelled, running after the two.

Sakura began freaking out, first because Sasuke was gonna kill Naruto, Hinata was gonna kill Sasuke and Hinata cursed!

* * *

A/N: And that's chapter 3 for today… Don't expect a 4th… I was having a good day today. 


	15. Fights

A/N: REVIEWS!

Ragnarok-The Fallen Angel: Very interesting two chapters. Do you know that on a korean kitchen knife they put the warning keep out of children? Or that on the bottom of a holder of tiramasu they put the warning do not put upside down? The sky is pretty and so is the moon. I don't hate gaara anymore, and sasuke's voice actor is frodo? I MUST KILL FRODO! HE STOLE MY RING THAT I WAS GONNA PROPOSE WITH! Oh yeah,...elipseses are fun.

A/N: Thanks and Neji's voice actor is Frodo. Sasuke's is Haru Glory from Rave Master… LOL

Ragnarok-The Fallen Angel: Three updates in less then three hours. WHY CAN'T EVERYONE HAVE INSANE UPDATE RATES! And Sasuke is neither a cat a snake OR an avenger...he's a wabbit.

A/N: LOL.

summer-loven-2: LOL. That was Realy! random. Aww HInata cursed. GO HINATA!

A/N: YAY! Someone's with me!

JustPlainPeachy: Wow...this is awsome in too many ways to describe in one life time! I love it with all my little heart! (Well, It's actually the size of my fist, but whatever) Gaara makes me laugh, and so does Ashley. Come to think of it, all of them do. Update soon PLEASE!

A/N: That's the point and I am.

I Have An Alter Ego: Non important review:

Yes I can totally leave a longer review do you wish me to? Ashley will killed by many fangirls as I have already said in my other reviews. I will be the one in a cat hat. (i wear it all the time at home) I will also be the one running in the wrong direction...I have done that before. My other friend who is a vampire not the half vampire one will be throwing balls at her at 100 miles per hour and get hit in the head by every single one because they bounced off Ashley's head. She is danger prone like me being a clutz. Because Sasuke is a cat like thing I bestow upon him my cat hat. I am getting a new one. Is this long enough for you? I don't think it is so I am making it longer. What do you think? I think about hey lookie it's a dragon fly (runs after chasing it) aww... it got away... Anyways your story made me laugh as usual and I think Ino should be chased by Sasuke, Naruto, and Sakura for getting them stuck there. She should get stuck in a tree like a kitty. Mreow. I h ave a short attention span. Sasuke is not an avenger in my opinion I think he is a big fat drama queen. Mockingly I say, "My brother killed my clan, so now I will kill him and restore my clan. How will I restore my clan? Oh! That's easy, by going Orochimaru who will help me. Restore hm...I wonder what the word really means? By killing Itachi it will restore my clan. How? I don't know. By killing him hopefully all of my family will be avenged even though they are six feet under. This will restore my clan. Now that I am the last Uchiha I will retore my clan it will take longer because the other last Uchiha needs to die before I can really restore my clan. It makes total sense. So goodbye I've got to go with Orochimaru who is just using me because I am too blind with hatrd. Bye-Bye now!" No I don't hate Sasuke. I think he is just being a drama queen slash emo. I actually think he is pretty awesome but I mean really! Who restores their clan by killing their only brother? I mean he has a purpose but I mean really. This message doens't mean I hate Sasuke. This has nothing to do with your story so it is classified as an unimportant review. Just to let you know when you said "Can you review any longer or something?" It made me want to write longer. You brought your own demise. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Real Review:

There are a couple of grammer mistakes. Again I need to say that it gets a little confusing so try to clarify certain things. NOt many things but some things.

Apologetic Review:

Sorry for making it even longer, I am really competitive so if someone says don't do that I have to stare at it for a long time to not do it. It was so tempting. Again sorry. Thank you for shopping at I.Have.Issues.Me.Not.

Sorry I am a bit crazed up right now. Okay alot but that is beside the point. Update Soon!

A/N: Sasuke really is a drama queen… but, like you said, that's beside the point. And, I hate grammar… I seriously got my first ever 100 in English class and it was on Helen Keller… Anyway, off subject.

The Goddess of the Madhouse: oO what an odd chapter... But yup it makes sense... sorta...

A/N: That's what I thought when I was writing it.

itachi'smaniac: YEhNESS!takes out dictionary and throws it in the trashSCREW THE DICTIONARY!

UCHIHA OUT!

A/N: WOOHOO! BYE BYE STUPID DICTIONARY!

Ladyaymie: WOW... 3 chapters in one day. I'm glad. D

A/N: Thanks.

Lucki GaaraSakura Girl: LOLZ!

SASUKE MUST DIE O

A/N: Well, you fit in with all my other reviewers.

ANYWHO, here's the second to last chapter of part 1 (I know! It's almost over!)

**Chapter 14: Fights**

About 20 minutes later, Hinata and Sasuke (who was dragging Naruto) returned. Sasuke was covering his right arm and Hinata was holding a butcher's knife.

"Uh, do you mind me asking what happened?" Sakura asked.

"Sasuke was chasing Naruto with this knife." Hinata explained.

"So you took it and chased _him_ with is?" Sakura asked.

"Well, he didn't have to chase Naruto in the first place." Hinata said.

"He didn't have to run." Sasuke argued.

"You didn't have to chase him." Hinata repeated.

"He didn't have to call me a cat."

"You didn't have to run outside and come in looking like a drenched cat."

"He didn't have to mock me."

"You shouldn't be so easy to mock."

"I can't help it if I'm perfect."

"Who said you're perfect?"

"You just did."

"I didn't say you're perfect… wait…" Hinata muttered… "Crud…"

Naruto and Sakura burst out laughing, mainly because Sasuke had actually WON the argument.

"Stop laughing!" Hinata yelled.

"Yeah, knock it off." Sasuke said.

Naruto and Sakura neglected to listen and laughed harder.

Hinata and Sasuke then had the exact same horrible idea at the same exact time.

"Can I do it?" Sasuke asked.

"Sure. You deserve it. You spend more time with them then I do." Hinata responded.

Sasuke then grabbed the bottle, rubbed it and waited for Jennien to emerge.

"Hello. What do you two need?" she asked.

Sasuke then whispered something to her so Naruto and Sakura wouldn't hear (like they'd be able to over their laughing) and Jennien burst out laughing.

"Fine, then. You're wish is my command," Jennien said, then nodded her head twice.

-space-

Sasuke and Hinata just about died from laughter as Sakura slapped Naruto into a wall.

"What the HELL is your issue!" Sakura yelled.

"M-MY ISSUE! YOU _kissed_ ME!" Naruto yelled.

"are you really THAT stupid!" Sakura shrieked. "Would I _really_ kiss _you?_"

"I don't know! What if-" Naruto stopped when he noticed Jennien. "- Sasuke and Hinata…! They did this!"

"Uh, oh…" Sasuke and Hinata moaned in unison.

"W-Why!" Sakura yelled.

"You wouldn't shut up! It was all I could think off! You forced it on yourself!" Sasuke and Hinata yelled in unison, which surprised Sakura and Naruto.

"Don't ya just feel the 'love' between us all?" Sakura silently muttered to herself.

"Anyway, I have a wish… I just hope it works." Sasuke said. "I wish that every wish Ino made was reversed."

"I'll try." Jennien said, then nodded her head twice.

* * *

A/N: And that's chapter 14. One more, then it's all over… NO! Buy, I'll have a different Naruto story up until I finish the second part of this. 

LONG LIVE SHORT CHAPTERS! (Space for drama)

Also, if you want any messages put her (words only) for anyone to see, tell me through review or pm me.


	16. The End FOR NOW!

A/N: Then last, ubershort, chapter! It's over… that's so sad… well, I have a new random story I'll put up and I'll get the second part of this up soon…

**Chapter 15: The End (For now)**

Suddenly, they were all 12/13 again, Naruto couldn't talk anymore, Sasuke was a girl, and they were all randomly on the bridge place.

"I'm a… girl again… That means we're back to normal!" Sasuke happily said, then realized he was happy to be a _girl_ again and shut up.

"I don't get it… How did you get us back to normal?" Sakura asked.

"Never mind that! I wish that everything was back to normal!" Hinata yelled. Jennien appeared from nowhere in particular and nodded her head twice.

Sasuke was a guy again and Naruto could talk (unfortunately). Hinata was her shy self again, the trees were back and… that's it, right? Should be… I think…

"Well… um, see you, uh three later," Hinata muttered, walking off.

Jennien disappeared into the randomly appearing bottle, which Sasuke chucked into the river (which carried it downstream and gone for good.)

"Anyone finds it again and I'll kick their ass." Sasuke stated.

The three then headed back toward the village.

"You know, only we could waste 2 days on nothing of particular interest." Naruto said.

"Yeah. We have the best non-plotted things, don't we?" Sasuke added.

"Yep… But, Sasuke, are you gonna hang out with Hinata anymore?" Sakura asked.

"No, probably not. Why?" Sasuke asked.

"Do you want to go out sometime?" Sakura bluntly asked.

"Two words- Sexual harassment." Sasuke responded.

"What?" Sakura asked.

"You asking me out a lot is sexual harassment." Sasuke responded.

"Why did you answer with THAT?" Naruto asked.

"Ask a stupid question, get a stupid question… But anyway, I'd rather go out with Hinata than you." Sasuke stated.

"You wouldn't dare." Sakura said.

They then noticed Hinata walking not too far ahead of them. Sakura and Naruto then noticed a smirk across Sasuke's face.

"Hey, Hinata! Want to go out sometime!" Sasuke yelled through the giant, crowded market place.

"I don't think she heard you. Can you scream a little louder?" Naruto muttered.

Hinata turned around to face Sasuke, looked to her right where Neji looked like he was about to explode, then she faced Sasuke again.

"Um, sure, I guess." Hinata muttered just loud enough for Sasuke to hear.

Naruto burst out laughing, Sakura just about fainted and Sasuke ran over to Hinata.

"Want to help me go hunt down (and most likely kill) Ino?" Sasuke asked.

"Sure," Hinata responded, now holding Sasuke's hand as the two walked off.

* * *

A/N: If anyone has any ideas for the second part, there's still time to tell them to me… I like including fans in stuff, so I'm sure if you have a good idea I can pencil it in somewhere… I'm having writers-block, anyway, so any ideas are GREATLY appreciated. Thank you ALL for being my fans and support through this! (Emotional moment… Not really) 

**MORAL OF THIS STORY:** DON'T WISH YOUR FRIEND IS A GIRLL UNLESS YOU NEED SOME HUMOR IN YOUR LIFE! IT WILL CAUSE A BIZARRE CHAIN REACTION!

Okay, moment is over. If you haven't checked it out, see my "That Scary Naruto Thing" story… it's short, random, and funny… also (even if you don't like Sonic and all related characters) check out my "The Lunch Table" for a day in my life at lunch and "Deflating Shadow's Pride" story…

LONG LIFE SHORT CHAPTERS!

Good bye for now! I WILL HAVE MORE SOON! DON'T GET TOO UPSET!

Okay, so maybe you won't without me saying that, but still…

Hear from you all later!


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